A Realization...

I have been teaching for eight years. As I enter my ninth year, I have come to a realization that I am NOT a bad teacher. Nor am I one of the greatest teachers. I do good work. I make good connections with kids. I am able to teach them some math along the way. But I can't help feeling that I am missing something.

After some Twitter lurking and some thought this week, I think I understand a little bit about why I feel that way.

For the first seven years of my career, I had an excellent mentor on campus. We worked well together. She was very supportive and we became good friends. She also did most of the work. I helped a little here and there, but I just rode her coat tails on pretty much everything. If she did something, then I did it. She did all the research and work. All I did was try to do what she told me about with varying degrees of success. It was not a very fair relationship. Now I did create some things on my own, but they were few and far between and I ALWAYS ran it past her before I tried it.

Enter year eight...

My friend and mentor moved on to be the Secondary Math Coach for our district. She wasn't two doors away anymore and I had to start flying on my own. I have to say that there was more crashing than flying in the creative department for me. I had to do it on my own, and I realized just how much I had depended on her. I had done MYSELF a disservice by being a follower and not trying to be a leader. Year eight was a rough year with a lot of ups and downs. I count it as my least successful year in terms of student understanding and achievement in my Algebra 2 classes. (However, I did find a lot of success in my Math Analysis classes, so it wasn't a terrible year overall.)

This weekend on Twitter, I found this quote from Ira Glass...

"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners. I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple of years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good. It has potential. But it's not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or are still in this phase, you gotta know it's normal and the most important thing you can do is a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you finish a story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions."

It really struck a chord with me. As a result of being a follower, I am still in the beginning stages of defining MY teaching. By just following along and not stretching my creativity, I robbed myself of that volume of work that I should have done that would help me close the gap of where my teaching is and where I want it to be.

So, now I go forward into year nine with a little more understanding of myself. I am not sure where to start, but I know that I need to get working so I can start closing that gap somehow.

I will forever be grateful for my friend and mentor. She has been and will always be an inspiration. I will probably still ask her opinion on stuff. But I need to START doing it myself or it will never get done.

See you later all you AWESOME people...

 

Sometimes it is hard to "Let It Go"...

So we took the kids to see Frozen today and it was AWESOME....

The story was excellent and the soundtrack blew me away. Such a great movie. I think it has taken the number one spot on my favorites list...

There was one song that really hit me in the heart. "Let It Go". Queen Elsa has a power that she has had to conceal all her life because she didn't want to lose control and hurt someone. Especially her little sister, Anna. On her coronation day, she loses control and her power comes out. It frightens everyone, so she runs away. "Let It Go" is the song she sings when she finally gets away and can let her powers go and use them without fear of hurting anyone. She sings about letting go of her fear and developing the power inside of her. It just hit me right in the feels.

The song has been in and out of my head all day and it touches my heart each time. I have thought about it off an on today and I think it hits home with me because I have a lot of fear in me.

I have a power inside me, a special power, just like all of you do, and it frightens me. I am afraid that I will do it wrong or that others won't understand my power and be afraid or think that I am strange. I have it in me to do something awesome, but I don't know what it is. Or maybe I am too scared to try and figure it out. Or maybe I am scared to find out that I don't have much of a power at all. I have also made a lot of mistakes in my life. Those mistakes are in the past, but they still haunt me today. I think that I secretly hold onto to those things because it gives me an excuse to not embrace and use the power inside me. I heard a quote at a conference once that said, it isn't our darkness that we are afraid of, but our light. Or something like that... I can totally relate to this. It's easier to hold onto our mistakes and shortcomings and try to hide in the shadows of our dark times rather than to let go of those things and step into the light and power that is within us. I sometimes wish that I could have a power like Elsa. Something magical and cool. Something that I could grab onto and use as an outlet for my fears. But I know that it doesn't work that way. I wish that it did...

I am afraid of the power inside me and one day I will get over it. I know I will.

Good night all you AWESOME peeps... Don't be afraid like me... Find your power and use it...

Mistakes Are Good... As Long As I Learn... Right???

Hello interwebs... I guess it has been a couple of months... Lots of stuff going on and it is hard to find time to blog... But I feel the need tonight because I have come to some realizations today and I need to get it all out of my head so I can think rationally again. Then I can start to figure out a plan to fix things.

Earlier this school year I was offered the chance to teach an extra period during the day because our math analysis classes were too large. As a result, I lost my prep period. It seemed like no big deal at the time, but it has turned out to be a very exhausting gig. And I don't have as much time to get grading and planning done and copies made during the day. The extra money is nice though, so I will keep at it.

Because my planning time has been reduced, my AVID class has suffered. I am supposed to be getting them ready for college, but this year has degenerated into thrown together activities that don't make a lot of sense and study hall time that they don't take advantage of. There is no cohesion and I am doing them all a disservice. This realization came hard today when our AVID coordinator (a good friend) had a sit down talk with me. She was great. She wanted to help me get back on track and we will figure out how she can do that. I like teaching AVID, I just feel very inadequate with the curriculum. I don't know how to teach like that. I never have before, so it is scary for me. I just need to get over myself and do it. I will probably mess it up somehow, but that has to be okay. My students are walking all over me and I need to put a stop to it. I hope they understand that I am trying to help them. I am not sure how I will approach it yet, but it will happen. I have tried before to take better control of the class, but I can't sustain it. I need to figure out how I can.

This has been a difficult year for me anyways. I have had a lot more anxiety. The Common Core Standards have me all wigged out for whatever reason. I am unsatisfied with the Algebra 2 curriculum this year. Something just isn't right but I don't know what it is or how to fix it. I want to do things differently but I don't know how and it frustrates me. This is my eighth year of teaching, I should be able to adapt better and try new things without having an anxiety attack. I worry too much about what our administration and my fellow math teachers think of me. They probably think I am just fine, but my brain creates scenarios where I am deemed "not good enough for HHS" and they shuffle me off to somewhere else. I worry that new, hot-shot teachers will overshadow me and I will be just another old guy that is only good for teaching the classes that no one else wants. I WANT to do new and innovative things, but I am too insecure to step out of the box and try. I often wonder what I have to offer. I think that I'm a good teacher. I just don't know what makes me good.

I guess it all comes down to fear of failure. I know that I am not good at everything all the time. I am going to make mistakes. I would just rather make them privately so no one else knows.

Well... That's enough for now, I guess... Good night interwebs... See you next time...

Stay AWESOME...

Living By Some New Rules...

So... I ranted last Friday night... I removed the rant Sunday morning because I felt that I needed to do that... If you were one of the 7 unfortunate souls to read it before I took it down, I apologize for my sudden lapse in rationality... While I can say that it helped to rant and I am feeling better now, there is still frustration and anxiety... I will get through it and everything will be fine... I just need to take a chill pill and stick my nose to the grindstone...

As I was reflecting about that rant, I remembered seeing a picture on the internet about the 7 rules of life... So I did what any sane and rational person would do and got on Pinterest to find it... Lol... I found it in different forms, but I like this presentation the best... It has just a little bit of sassy to it and it makes me smile...

I am usually really bad at following the first 6 rules and pretty good at number 7... However, my friend, Mrs Bestie (she knows who she is), has commented to me that I have been slacking on number 7, too... This is what good friends do and I am glad she said something... So I am going to make the effort to get back on the horse and start keeping these rules the best I can...

Number 7 is easy to start with... Numbers 3 & 4, too... My difficulties lie in #1, #2, #5, and #6... Those things are soooooooo hard for me to do...

I dwell too much on past mistakes. I just do...

I think that everyone either doesn't like me or thinks I am arrogant or thinks I am only good enough for specific tasks.

I think everyone else is way better at life than I am because I do dwell too much on my mistakes.

I ALWAYS overthink things. It comes from being a mathematician...

I know it's not going to change overnight, but I am going to try my best... I'll get my AWESOME out again... Just wait and see...

Good night all you AWESOME peeps...

 

MTBoS (MathTwitterBlogosphere) is AWESOME...

So... This week is Mission #3 for my exploration of MTBoS. I got to look through a whole bunch of AWESOME websites that have a whole lot of AWESOME things on them. So I'll tell you about a couple that I really liked.

First... Dailydesmos.com... I didn't actually solve any of the challenges, but I got to play around with a really great free online graphing calculator... I even got the free app for my ipad. It is the best online graphing calculator that I have seen so far... I am sharing the website/app with my students tomorrow so that they have a good resource. Many of them can't afford a real graphing Calc and this will give them access to an AWESOME tool...

Second... www.visualpatterns.org... Pattern recognition, sequences, and series never got better for me... The patterns are challenging, but accessible to kids. It is also fun for me. I like puzzles a lot, so this site gave me some brain stretches to keep me sharp. Can't wait to try some of them when we get to that part of the curriculum. It'll be so fun...

Third (and last review)... onegoodthingteach.wordpress.com... A site where some teachers share the good things that happen every day amongst the chaos and frustration that exist in this profession. It is always good to find the good things amongst the bad so that we don't give up completely on the crazy, wonderful madness that is the teaching profession.

So... Here is my one good thing for today... (With a little background...)

Friday was an emotionally bad day for me for various reasons... That night I wrote a rant on my blog about it all... (If you were one of the 7 unfortunate souls that read that, I am sorry...) Anyways, Sunday morning came around and I felt that I needed to take it down, so I did. In the wee hours of Sunday morning I had some inspiration to reorganize my classroom and give the kids a new seating chart. So after church I sat down at my laptop and reorganized everyone in my Algebra 2 classes... They now sit in groups of four with an A student or B student at each table group... I didn't know how it would work out, but I had to try something...

Fast forward to this morning... My Math Analysis and AVID students took it in stride and made no complaint... There was some resistance from my Algebra 2 students, but most of them accepted their fate and got to work... I had them working together on Factoring because the quiz last Friday was very top and bottom heavy... A lot of kids got it, a lot of kids don't... My one good thing was that I was able to relinquish control (which is really hard for me) for three whole periods and the kids ACTUALLY worked together and helped each other. It was AWESOME... Was it 100%? No..., but it was in the high 80s at least... Did some of those kids that didn't understand gain some understanding? Absolutely... I think it was a step in the right direction... We'll see how this journey continues...

Stay AWESOME...

There is AWESOME stuff on the Internet...

I recently found this AWESOME, AMAZING, WONDERFUL thing...

It's called the Math Twitter Blogosphere (MTBoS) and they are doing an AWESOME thing for math teachers that want to get connected. They have cool missions each week to help those of us that aren't connected to get connected. Teaching math is hard sometimes and can be overwhelming if you do it alone. Connecting with people that share your passion can make it so much easier.

I missed the first mission last week because I missed the tweet that announced it. Oh well... I just jumped in this week instead. (Kind if like D&D when someone is late to the group and the DM has to insert them into the game somehow...) It was AWESOME sauce...

This week's mission was all about using Twitter... If you don't know what Twitter is, look to the right and you will see my feed... It's fun, and really useful, and fun... I haven't used twitter to its full potential even though I have had it for over a year. This MTBoS has opened my eyes and helped a lot... Just after one night of working on a mission...

Part of my mission this week is to talk about something Twitter... So here goes...

I participated in my first ever Twitter chat tonight... It was AWESOME... It was an Algebra 2 chat. (So, boring for all you non-math people, but exciting for me.) A few things were talked about and I even added some comments here and there. I actually got a couple of amazing teaching strategies that I will actually be able to use and share at work... Seriously, my mind was blown... It was so cool... It was so neat to see how other people do things and how they teach different concepts. I think that this whole experience will help me to become a better teacher and I am so excited to do that. There is so much out there in the Twitterverse that I don't think I will ever get all the good stuff, but MTBoS has given me an opportunity to find some of it... Thanks guys...

Stay AWESOME sauce...

Building A Testimony

This week was Testimony meeting at church. I didn't go up and bear my testimony at all, but I did ponder a few things. I have been pondering these things for the last couple of months during testimony meeting, but have never felt the need to go up and share them. Not even today. For some reason I feel the need to put it out there now. Not sure why.

So here goes...

First and foremost, I asked myself what is (or what should be) the basis for a testimony. As I thought about it, I went back to the time that I was in my mission in Finland. That was back in the time before "Preach My Gospel" and we had the six discussions and "The Missionary Guide."

Well... In Finland, I gave A LOT of first discussions. Not many sixth discussions... (Actually... One sixth discussion). So, that information came flooding back to my mind and I determined that the principles in that discussion were a good starting point in building a testimony of the Gospel. Good thing they were the first things that we taught anyone, right?

Here they are..

1) God is our perfect Heavenly Father and He has a plan for us.

2) Jesus Christ is the Son of God and gave us a perfect example to follow.

3) Heavenly Father calls Prophets to reveal His plan to us.

4) Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and was called as a prophet for our time.

5) The Book of Mormon is a second testament of Jesus Christ along side the Bible

6) The Holy Ghost will testify of the truth when we sincerely ask.

There is some pretty AWESOME stuff here and I honestly believe that if a person can accept these six principles fully, then they have a good basis to build the rest of their testimony on. The rest of the Gospel just flows from this and can change lives. It's amazing...

I can testify to you that I know that these things are true. All of them...I didn't realize it until today that my own testimony has developed from these things. I really didn't understand the Gospel until I was in that frozen northern country serving the people and teaching these things over and over again. Apparently I learned a few things for myself. Go me...

Have an AWESOME week...

A morning walk with John Bytheway...

As many of you know, I have started walking, jogging, running every morning. I keep track of my time and miles with my iPod. Today I decided to listen to a talk by John Bytheway entitled "Be Thou An Example of the Believers." I decided I would walk until he was done talking, so I took a different course than I usually do in order to make time for the 55 minute talk. It is a really good talk and I recommend it to everyone and I will let you borrow it if you want. (I have it on CD, too.)

Anyways... Here is what stood out to me...

He talks specifically about this scripture and goes into some deeper meanings...

Here is the scripture...

1st Timothy 4:12... "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

When talking about the phrase "Let no man despise thy youth", he brings up a primary song that most of us should know, "Give", said the Little Stream"... He refers to a line in the first verse that says...

"I'm small, I know, but wherever I go the grass grows greener still."

He goes on to say that the stream shows a little humility by saying that it is small. (I also thought that maybe the stream may have been feeling a little inadequate. As many of us do from time to time.)

And then comes the "but".

And it's a really big "BUT" in my opinion... "Wherever I go the grass grows greener still."

So... The stream knows it is small, but it also knows that it can have a huge impact on the world that is travels through.

Now there was a lot more to the talk, but this really stuck with me the whole walk and I wanted to add my perspective...

Each of us (young, old, in-between) has things that we struggle with... that help us to be humble. Each of us KNOWS that we have these inadequacies within us that maybe no one else knows about. We are all like the Little Stream in one way or another. We are all "small" and we all "know"...

And then comes the "but"... That wonderfully, AWESOME "but"...

Wherever WE go "the grass grows greener still"... We have all been given something special from our Heavenly Father... A little piece of AWESOME... And we can take that AWESOME and use it to overcome our inadequacies for the betterment of the world around us. There is great potential in all of us. No matter how small or insignificant we may feel. Remember what Alma taught his son, Helaman... "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." (Alma 37: 6)

So... Find and embrace your AWESOME (whatever it is) so that wherever you go "the grass grows greener still."

Have an AWESOME day...

Summer Fun

So... Summer vacation this year has been interesting in our house. We have had some theme weeks to keep the kids entertained. I think my wife and I should be up for Parents of the Year... Just sayin'...

 

 

 

So far it has been fun...

Have some AWESOME fun with your family this Summer...

 

Rules of Life... (For Me Anyways...)

Got this idea from another Blogger that I found while lost in the Twitterverse... In no particular order...

1) Be nice to everyone even if they aren't nice to you.

2) Love deeply... It's the only way to go...

3) Pray... Always...

4) Go to Church.

5) Read the scriptures... Daily... (It really helps)

6) Exercise... It's good for the soul...

7) Take your Wife out once in a while... (Or husband, or girlfriend, or boyfriend)

8) Continue learning after you are done with your "formal" education.

9) Read... A lot...

10) Go outside...

11) Love your job...

12) Cuddle with your kids....

13) Eat whatever you want once in a while... It is good to indulge sometimes, just not all the time.

14) Make a difference to someone else every day...

15) Eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups because they are sooooooo good...

16) Spend time with family and friends. Doesn't matter what you do.

17) Follow your dreams wherever they take you...

18) Do something nice for someone else... Every day... Doesn't have to be a BIG thing...

19) Happiness is a journey. Not a destination.

20) Always be AWESOME sauce... Never Ketchup sweat... (Or Mustard pee)

A Few AWESOME Things From This School Year...

This school year brought some great things...

1) AVID... Not gonna lie... There were some ups and downs, but I think it all came out good in the end... It is helping me come out of my shell and into the world outside my classroom...

2) Twitter... Got into that whole craziness... It has been super helpful with finding out new things and checking up on kids that need the extra care. I am not the most interesting "tweeter", but it is fun to interact with everyone.

3) Discovering that I had an opinion on school policies even if no one important listened or did anything about it. I think that after 7 years I have finally begun to understand what education really is and what it needs to be. I have also come to understand that our campus needs some work and that I can't just sit back and "hope" someone will do something about it. If I think we need to change things, then maybe I should get out there and be a voice.

4) Discovering that others believed that I had something to offer. In the past, most people on campus never paid much attention to me. This year seems to have been the year when others have started to ask me for my opinion or advice on things. Not a lot of people, but the right people. It feels good to know that others recognize that I might have something good to offer.

5) My students... Both those that were actually in my class and those that I got to hang out with and get to know better... They are truly AWESOME and have been a positive influence on me this year...

It has been a good year of growth for me and I am looking forward to next year and the surprises that it will bring....

Stay AWESOME everyone...

Teachers and Storytellers

“The purpose of a storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon. Too often, we forget that.” ---Brandon Sanderson

This came from a book I have been reading entitled The Way of Kings. Obviously by Brandon Sanderson. It is a fantasy novel and I am on my second read for this book. It is pretty amazing what you find on the second read that you completely missed on the first read.

This quote is one of those little gems that presented itself. There have been others, but this one stood out and really got me thinking. What if we changed just one word?

What if we changed the word "storyteller" to "teacher"?

Being an educator, this really got me thinking about what we demand from our students. Do we want them to be able to think and feel and react to the world around them in positive and beneficial ways or do we want them to get high scores on their tests so that our school "looks" good?

I have found that those who do the latter are not preparing kids to be useful people and citizens of the World. Have I been guilty of this in my short time as a teacher? Probably yes. Is it all that I have done? Absolutely not. I try really hard to not fall into the trap of "getting high scores". High test scores cannot be the final goal of education. It doesn't help the kids and it doesn't help the World.

I want my kids to think and feel and react appropriately. I try to give them opportunities to do these things each day and I know that I am not successful every day with every kid. But I am trying. I can't open up a kids head and pour in the knowledge and experience my short 35 years have given me. I just can't. It's not fair to me as a teacher, but it's also not fair to them as my students. They need to do it themselves. They need to fail once in a while so that they know what success really feels like. They need to understand that they have within them the potential to do great things, AWESOME things, without having to be told what to do every step of the way. They CAN do it, if they BELIEVE that they can.

I have learned that telling them "how to think" doesn't work out the way we think it will. I hope that I can be that teacher/storyteller that gives them "questions to think upon" and I hope that they realize that I did them a favor by doing so.

Stay AWESOME everyone...

The Way Things Are Measured

Three day weekend got me thinking about some things...

First, I thought about how I have defined friends in my life. I have many, many, MANY awesome friends in my life. They are wonderful people and help me to overcome a lot of challenges. Some of them I see more often than others and some of them I only see on social media because they live so dang far away. Still, these people have been an integral part of my development as a person and I am truly grateful for what they do for me.

It occurred to me this weekend that the QUANTITY of time spent with my friends is not as important as the QUALITY of time we spend. I have always had this thought itching at the back of my mind that if I am not hanging out with my friends consistantly on a daily or weekly basis, then that means they are upset with me or that they don't want to be friends. I know that it sounds stupid, but it just nags at me for some reason. (I have to get out of my head sometimes. It's crazy in there.) I realized that even though we don't get to spend a lot of time together, that doesn't mean that we aren't close friends and that we aren't important to each other. It just means that we are busy with the everyday challenges of life that overwhelm us. When we do get together, it is truly AWESOME and we have so much fun.

Case in point... This very weekend, we were able to get together with a family that we consider our Best Friends. I will call them the "Besties". They are the same age as we are. (Literally... The wife is a few months older than me and the husband is a few months younger than The Pretty One...) They have 6 kids between them. It is a His, Hers, and Theirs kind of family. The two older kids don't live at home with them, and the four younger are around the ages of our kids, so everyone gets along and we have so much fun together. Anyways... We hadn't been able to hang out with each other for at least a month. (It might have been longer). We went over for a birthday party for the oldest child who was visiting from Seattle. We were only there for about an hour and a half, but it was AWESOME to be with our friends and just hang out and have fun.

So... QUALITY is much more important than QUANTITY... Remember that...

Second realization.... Just because someone doesn't want to spend time with me or get to know me doesn't mean that I am a bad person or not worth knowing.

There are people that I come into contact with on a regular basis that I respect and that I think are successful in some way. I would like to know these people a little better, but they don't have the same desire to know me. I often wonder if there is something wrong with me. I ask myself, "Why don't they like me?" or "What have I done to make them not want to be friends?" It is silly. It doesn't really matter what they think of me or why they think that. What matters is that I am comfortable with who I am and am capable of doing good things. I can still learn from these people, but it will always feel awkward to be with them.

So... I don't HAVE to be friends with EVERYBODY in order to learn from them.

Third realization... (Last one, I promise)... I can't measure the amount of success I have by the amount of success other people have.

I look around campus and see the teachers that the students really like or look up to. I see people that influence students so much that they get mentioned in graduation speeches. I see people that the administration asks to do things ALL the time while everyone else doesn't get the opportunity to participate. I see these people and wonder why I am not one of them. Why am I not popular and cool like they are?

And then I think, why do I need to be one of these people? Why is it important? It really isn't that important. I don't need to be popular and cool to be successful in my career. I have my own little sphere of influence on campus. I don't come out of my classroom much because I am needed there. There are kids that come to my room because they know it is a safe place to be themselves without the criticism and judgements of others. I do what I can to help those kids that want MY help. Maybe I am not graduation speech worthy, or in with the popular kids, or in the in-crowd with administration (sad that that even exists). But it doesn't matter. I am doing the very best that I know how and I have been successful with a LOT of kids in my short 7 year tenure as a teacher. They weren't necessarily the popular and cool kids, but they were AWESOME in their own ways and I am grateful for the opportunity to have helped them to overcome difficulties in their lives.

So... Don't measure your success by someone else's scale.... Make your own scale...

Have an AWESOME day...

Happy Valentine's Day

To The Pretty One... She will probably kill me for posting these.... Lol...

Best day..... EVER....

We are so cute...

Still cute....

Getting older.... But still cute...

 

12 years later... Still cute...

It's been an AWESOME ride.... I love her with all that I am...

 

10 Quotes That Made Me Think

So... I was reading my friend's blog.... **cough, Stacy, cough**... She reminded me of that TED Talk that I had mentioned in a previous blog and talked about how she had made her students do the "10 Things that I know are true" list as an assignment in her English class... I thought that was really cool and it got me thinking about blogging again... So, I decided to do another list for you all... It took me all afternoon to decide what my list would be, but I finally settled on this topic...

So.... Here they are... In no particular order... 10 quotes that really got me thinking...

• "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, until it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the time and place that the tide will turn." ---Harriet Beecher Stowe
• "So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." ---Christopher Reeve
• "Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional." ---Anonymous
• "You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you." ---Harold B. Lee
• "Things should be as simple as possible but not simpler." ---Albert Einstein
• "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." ---Albert Einstein
• "If you cant explain it simply you don't understand it well enough." ---Albert Einstein
• "Life will knock us down, but we can choose to get back up." ---Jackie Chan (Karate Kid)
• "I believe that everyone else my age is an adult whereas I am merely in disguise." ---Margaret Atwood
• "If your day didn't include making someone smile, you're doing it wrong." ---Anonymous

 

That last one has become my favorite.... I like to think of it more as my main goal each day....

 

Oh... One last quote...

 

"Anybody can be cool, but AWESOME takes practice." ---Lorraine Peterson

So... Keep practicing all you AWESOME peeps... Remember to always be AWESOME Sauce... (Never Ketchup Sweat)...

It's the End of the World as We Know It...

So... It is almost 2013... Another apocalypse avoided... AWESOME!!!

But anyways... This holiday season has been filled with so many blessings that I can't even count. I don't even know where to start.

The studio is FINALLY open... The Pretty One is desperately trying to get people to come in so that she can get this business going. Bills don't pay themselves. Gotta have money. So... If you want some pictures done, come on down. The name of the shop is Yellow Canary Photography... It's in Hesperia, CA... Come see us.

With the shop open, we were hoping that the bank would finally help us with some start up money. (They said they would back in July/August). What ACTUALLY happened was we were told that we needed to be in business for at least 2 years before they would even consider helping us... LAME SAUCE TO THE MAX... So, that translated into no money for Christmas. Not something we were looking forward to telling the kids... Fortunately, there are some very generous and wonderful people in our ward... We don't know who they are, but we are extremely grateful for their help. The Pretty One's grandma was also very generous. The kids got some wonderful presents for Christmas and we got a few small things for us with grandma's money. I have been truly humbled and my faith has been strengthened because of the AWESOME blessings that we received this Christmas season. Thank you to everyone that made it AWESOME!!

The next thing is that I turned 35... I don't feel 35... There is a quote by Margaret Atwood that perfectly describes me. It says, "I believe that everyone else my age is an adult whereas I am merely in disguise." I don't think that I will ever really think of myself as an adult. There is too much kid in me.

This birthday was especially AWESOME because we went to the temple and did some work for my Dad's parents. They both passed away many years ago and we finally went and did the work for them. They have been sealed together for time and eternity and my Dad was sealed to his parents. That is pretty AWESOME!!!

The rest of the day was spent with family and friends, cake and presents... Good stuff... Good times... AWESOMENESS!!!

(I still don't feel 35). :)

Now we wait to roll in the new year. Playing games and spending time as a family. Can't complain too much about that.

I am looking forward to what this new year will bring. 2012 had its ups and downs, but I learned a lot. I am hoping that 2013 is more AWESOME and I will be able to learn a great many more wonderful things.

I will leave you all with this quote from Christopher Reeve...

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."

Happy new year to all you AWESOME people...

 

The Thanksgiving Post (You knew it was coming...)

So, today is Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for... So, here are my 10 things for this year...

1) The Pretty One.... She is amazing.

2) Kid #1, Kid #2, And Kid #3... They are so smart, and funny, and bring such joy to my life.

3) Family that lives close. Both mine and The Pretty One's... It is good to know that we have someone close that we can share an evening with or leave the kids with on short notice if we need to.

4) My job... Teaching is such an AWESOME experience... There are so many students that have touched my life and brought great joy to me... Some have moved on to do great things and some are still with me learning how to bring AWESOMENESS to the world.... They are all AWESOME sauce....

5) All of my AWESOME Friends... I have so many that I couldn't possibly name you all separately.... You have let me into your lives and your families. You have given me great advice, good times, and AWESOME experiences... You have helped shape and mold me into what I need to be.

6) My Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ...

7) My membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Church brings so much peace and direction to my life that I wouldn't be who I am without its teachings.

8) My calling in the Church. I get to work closely with wonderfully spiritual men and women. They give me the chance to serve and teach me many great truths as we sit in council together each Sunday. I also get to serve each member of the ward and I hope that they know that I love each of them as my brothers and sisters.

9) The chance to live and learn each day... I know that I am NOT perfect, but I also know that this life is the place where we learn to become like our Heavenly Father. There is still so much that I still need to learn and I am grateful for the opportunity each day.

10) The little joys of life... A kiss from the wife, a hug from the kids, a smile from the world...

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone... Have an AWESOME sauce kind of day...

 

"Are you ready for this?"

So...  It has been a while since I last posted anything.  Sorry to all those avid followers of my AWESOME life.  It has been pretty busy and I haven't really felt inspired to do any writing.

For the last couple of weeks I have been (with the help of a good friend) installing a wood-burning stove in my house.  This has been an AWESOME learning experience for me.  I got to learn how to lay tile, we cut a hole in my roof for the chimney, we cut a hole in the floor for an air vent because I live in a manufactured home.  It has been fun.  My friend kept asking me, "Are you ready for this?" whenever we had to do something that there was no turning back from.  (Like cutting holes in my floor and ceiling...).  It was really funny.  He would tell me what we were going to do, look at me kind of sideways, and then ask me that question.  As soon as I would say "Yes", he would begin the process.  Now I wasn't ALWAYS ready when I said yes, but sometimes you have to take a little risk to get a big reward.  It has been a good time and we are almost done.  Here is what we have so far...

Hopefully, we will have it done today.  We just need one more part to put the pipe onto the stove...

You know...  The funny thing is that I really didn't know what I was going to talk about today, but recounting this experience has gotten me thinking.

How often do we wait until we are really ready before we do something?

How often do we wait until someone asks us, "Are you ready for this?"

I don't know how many people I know give me the excuse that they are waiting until they are "ready" to...

• get married
• go to college
• buy a home
• have children
• (insert big life event here)

Whatever it is....  You are NEVER going to be completely ready for those decisions.  You just aren't.  But does that mean that you will NEVER get to do them....  Nope.  Sometimes you just jump in with both feet and either be sink or swim....  It is a matter of faith, or trust, or whatever you personally believe.  Sometimes you just do it and see what happens.

The Pretty One is an expert at jumping in with both feet.  Years ago she said to me that we needed to buy a house.  I looked at our finances at the time and wondered how we would ever afford that.  She persisted and, though I wasn't completely convinced, we went for it.  We started looking and saw a LOT of really weird places that scared both of us.  When we finally found our first home, we just knew that it was the place for us.  The AWESOME thing was that it fit into our budget.  Coincidence???  I think not.  We were just supposed to be there at that time of our life.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago.  The Pretty One wanted to become a photographer...  I was like...  Okay...  In my mind I went back to our wedding day when the man who sealed us together for time and eternity in the Los Angeles Temple gave me this advice.  This is not an exact quote...  Your wife has many hidden talents and you need to let her develop those talents.

So I bought her a Nikon D5000 to start with...  She is really good...  An I am NOT just saying that.

Fast Forward to this year...  She says that she needs to open a Photography studio.  I am thinking to myself...  She's crazy....  But then I think back to that blessed day 12 years ago and say OK.  It has been a long road, but she should be opening soon.

I really don't know HOW we have survived financially through this whole process, but we have made it...  Barely...  LOL!!!

My point is... If we had waited until we were READY, we would never have had these wonderful, faith building experiences.  We would never be living our dreams like we are.

If somebody asks us, "Are you ready for this?", we say yes, even if the answer is really no...  We just do it because we know that if we wait, whatever we feel we need to do would never ACTUALLY happen.

Has it been hard?  Yes...   Is it worth the debt, the worry, the tears, the craziness?  Absolutely...  Have there been a lot of struggles along the way?  Most definitely....  But nothing worth having is ever easy to get.

The Lord doesn't require us to be "ready"...  He only asks us to be willing...  If we are willing to do what the Lord would have us do, and have the faith necessary to accomplish His will, HE will take care of the rest and our life will be AWESOME.

So... Go for your dreams...  Don't wait until you are "ready"...  If someone asks' "Are you ready for this?", say YES...  Then do it and see what happens...  If the Lord wills it, then it will be AWESOME Sauce...

10 Things That I KNOW Are True...

Before I go into what this post is really about, I want to tell you all about the inspiration behind it.  I was watching a TED Talk by Sarah Kay.  If you don't know about TED Talks, then head on over to Ted.com and check them out.  Great stuff... AWESOME stuff.... What are you waiting for?!?!?  Go check it out!!!

Okay...  Did you do it?  Not yet?  You want to finish reading this post first?  All right...  Then I'll cut to the chase.  In this talk, Sarah Kay mentions something about making lists to help her students to determine what they can write about.  One of those lists is "10 things that I know are true."

So...  Here are my 10 things... (With a little commentary when appropriate.)

1) My wife (aka The Pretty One) is AH...MAY...ZING!!!!

She just is.  She sets her sights on something and pretty soon she has it.

2) Kid #1, Kid #2, and Kid #3 are equally amazing

Nuff said

3) I love my family with ALL that I am.

4) I am a Son of God and Jesus Christ is my Savior and Elder Brother.

5) The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Book of Mormon are true.

6) I am NOT a perfect teacher, but I am pretty darn good at teaching.

7) I am an insecure person.

You are probably thinking... Yeah, right... You write all this crazy stuff on your blog...  And you would be justified in thinking that.  But, here's the thing... I am WEIRD.  I am very comfortable in my own weirdness on my own, but I feel like most people aren't and that makes me less comfortable with my weirdness in public and even with my friends.  (As I type this, my brain is saying, "Stop, they are going to think you are Super weird guy and never read your blog again!!!")

So.... (Awkward).... Next thing....

8) I can't think of anything for #8, so we'll just move on to #9.

9) Life is about overcoming challenges and difficulties and also about growing your soul and reaching for (and catching) your dreams.

10) You don't have to be rich to be happy... Life can be AWESOME no matter what you have to deal with...  Just believe....

So...  There you go...  Now go and make your list.... (And check out TED.com)

Good night everyone...

According to Our Desires...

This is a talk that I gave in Church at the beginning of September.  For those of you who don't know, our Church has no paid minister/clergy.  Members of the congregation are called to hold different positions and all time spent carrying out these "callings" is voluntary.  Each week a few members are called upon to speak and teach during Sacrament meeting.  I was assigned this topic and this is what I came up with.

Please Enjoy...

I want to start by telling you about a couple of friends of mine.

The first friend is a young man that I used to work with. He is in his mid-teens and not really into church. He goes because his family goes, but would rather not be there. He doesn't have a lot of friends at church. He would rather be with his non-member friends doing things that are not what he should be doing. He has a girlfriend even though he isn't old enough to date, but it's more about holding hands and making out than anything else. Pornography is his occasional secret friend. He would rather be doing anything but what the Lord would have him do.

The second friend is happy to be at church. He holds a calling and performs that calling to the best of his abilities. He has friends there and they help him to stay straight. He has a little more debt than he would like, but pays his tithing anyways and somehow is able to make it through. He goes to the temple when he can and honors the priesthood that he holds. He isn't perfect, but does the best he can to do what the Lord would have him do.

What's the difference between my two friends?

The first thing that comes to mind is that their desires are completely opposite. The first one desires the things of the world while the second desires the things of the Lord.

So, why are our desires so important?

Elder Dallin H. Oaks has said, "Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming."

So what we desire is what we do. That is something we should all think about. What do we want to be? Do we want to be what the Lord wants us to be or what the world wants us to be? Consider my two friends.

Alma said, "I ought not to harrow up in my desires the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction." That's in Alma 29:4.

President John Taylor said, "The Lord … will let mankind pursue happiness in their own way, and according to their desire he will let them drink the cup of their own iniquity in their own way. On the other hand, he has manifested his goodness and will continue to do it to all his children."

So, it's kind of like this... Righteous desires = Blessings, Salvation, Good stuff. Awesome.

Evil desires = Destruction, False hope and happiness, Bad Stuff. Not Awesome.

What do we do so that we have righteous desires and stay away from evil desires?

Hartman Rector, Jr. said, "Believe you can do it. This is the first important principle. All things are possible to them that believe (see Mark 9:23). Surely we must believe in a thing before we can desire it. And God does grant unto men according to their desire (see Alma 29:4). If the desire is strong enough, performance is assured."

What else?

One Word... Yagottawanna

This comes from a talk from the April 1991 general conference. Brother Goaslind, the YM General President, talked about this attitude.

He said, "It reminds me of one of the qualities of godhood. “And there is nothing that the Lord thy God shall take in his heart to do but what he will do it.” (Abr. 3:17.) Isn’t it wonderful that we can trust our Father in Heaven to do what he says he will do? 

There are two elements to this principle. First, God takes something into his heart. When we take something into our hearts, it usually means that we feel something. This is the spirit of revelation. (See D&C 8:2–3.) It gives an intense feeling of peacefulness or well-being. President Marion G. Romney said that it “comes into our minds and feelings and induces us to do what is right”; it leads us to do good (see D&C 11:12).

“Yagottawanna” also helps us understand the principle of agency. Youth with sincere desires take initiative. They do good things without waiting to be told. They “do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.” (D&C 58:27.) They act rather than wait to be acted upon. They are in control of themselves. Such control is a wonderful feeling. It is a feeling we get when we exercise one of our most precious gifts—that of free agency."

“Yagottawanna” also shows an attitude of faith. Desire is the beginning of faith.

Alma taught, "But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words." (Book of Mormon, Alma, Chapter 32)

So it doesn't really matter if we actually believe. We just have to want to believe and, eventually, that desire will grow into belief and our faith will be strengthened.

Back to Brother Goaslind... "What we desire will ultimately help determine our eternal judgment."

Elder Dallin H. Oaks also taught about the influence of our desires upon our final judgment. He said, "The desires of our hearts will be an important consideration in the final judgment. Alma taught that God “granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; … according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction. Yea, … he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires.” (Alma 29:4–5.) 

That is a sobering teaching, but it is also a gratifying one. It means that when we have done all that we can, our desires will carry us the rest of the way. It also means that if our desires are right, we can be forgiven for the mistakes we will inevitably make as we try to carry those desires into effect. What a comfort for our feelings of inadequacy!"

So... Here's what I got from that... Just because we have righteous desires doesn't mean that we are going to be perfect. We are still going to make mistakes. That is inevitable. But, the Lord is going to be more willing to forgive us if He knows that our hearts and desires are in the right place. The atonement is for everyone. But remember... Yagottawanna...

More from Elder Oaks... "Under the law of God we are accountable for our feelings and desires as well as our acts. Evil thoughts and desires will be punished. (Evil desires = Not Awesome). Acts that seem to be good bring blessings only when they are done with real and righteous intent. On the positive side, we will be blessed for the righteous desires of our hearts even though some outside circumstance has made it impossible for us to carry those desires into action. (Righteous desires = Awesome).

To paraphrase Paul’s teaching in Romans 2:29, he is a true Latter-day Saint who is one inwardly, whose conversion is that of the spirit, in the heart, whose praise is not of men for outward acts, but of God, for the inward desires of the heart."

Now... Back to my two friends... What if I told you that these two people were actually the same person? And what if I told you that this person was me? Would you believe it? 

Friend #1 was me about 15-20 years ago as a youth in the church. I had a very weak testimony and very few friends in the church. I really just wanted to be like my non-member friends and do what they were doing. I was not in a good place spiritually and was destroying myself.

Friend #2 is me now after a lot of repentance and struggle because of those evil desires that I used to have. Am I perfect? Nope... Do I still struggle and make mistakes? Yup... Do I really want to be perfect? Absolutely... There is still a long way to go though.

So... What happened?

Brother Goaslind taught, "Desires change during our lives, sometimes dramatically and quickly, and sometimes gradually. Elder Boyd K. Packer once quoted Lady Astor: “I always dreaded growing old, because then you can’t do all of the things you want to. But it isn’t so bad—you don’t want to!” Be aware that things that seem all-important to you now will not matter in years to come. But you can choose now to want things that are in harmony with eternity. For example, you can choose to be righteous rather than waste your time on perishable things; you can choose to serve willingly rather than selfishly. Elder Marion D. Hanks has often quoted the wise saying that “the things that matter most must not be at the mercy of the things that matter least.” The choices we make in this life have a very important influence on our eternity."

Remember the people of King Benjamin. Before he died, King Benjamin built a tower and called all of his people together. He taught them many great and important truths. Then what happened?

1 And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had thus spoken to his people, he sent among them, desiring to know of his people if they believed the words which he had spoken unto them. 

2 And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. (Book of Mormon, Mosiah, Chapter 5)

No more disposition to do evil. They changed their desires of their hearts from evil (not awesome) to righteous (awesome).

That's what happened to me. There came a time in my life when I was finally able to admit that what I was doing was ruining myself and my future. So I changed my desires. I talked to my Bishop and got on the road to recovery. It took a while, but I was able to repent and be forgiven. Never, ever think that you are stuck on the road to destruction. You can ALWAYS turn around and come back. The Lord will take you if you truly desire to be His.

Now... Does Satan want me back? He sure does... Does he want everyone? You can bet on it... But here's the difference between me now and me back then. I know what he is trying to do. I know that he is going to try and tempt me back with all those things that I did before. So I fight back. I hold on to my righteous desires and keep myself safe from those temptations. I am reminded of a song by Rascall Flats entitled "Stand". The chorus goes like this...

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend 'till you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe your hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand

Remember to stand firm in the gospel and cling to those righteous desires that will help you return to your Heavenly Father.

I will close with a few last quotes...

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “When people are described as ‘having lost their desire for sin,’ it is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to ‘give away all [their] sins’ in order to know God.” 

“Therefore, what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.”

A. Theodore Tuttle said, "There are many thousands here who are not the captain of the football team, the valedictorian, and the student body president, all in one. Socially, you feel inept. Your grades are not all that good. You are wondering if you can qualify to serve a mission (or in the church in any capacity). Young man (young woman, old man, old woman), fix firmly on your heart a desire to serve the Lord and to declare the gospel: “For I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life.” (Alma 29:4.) I know this promise is true. The Lord loves you. He needs you. You may not have all of the qualities you would like to have. You have great potential. Some of you have made mistakes. Some have troublesome personal habits. Talk to the Lord about them tonight. If you are greatly troubled, talk to your father. You may even need to see your bishop. Get things straightened out now."

Finally, Elder Oaks has said,"Let us remember that desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. In addition, it is our actions and our desires that cause us to become something, whether a true friend, a gifted teacher, or one who has qualified for eternal life."

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.